“I decided that it was time for me to stop hiding my brokenness. I hid my pain a lot of times to protect other people. I learned how to do that early on in life.”–Openly Broken
Some individuals believe that there is no such thing as a fatherless child. They say you have a father, he’s just not around. Yet, statistics show that approximately 24 million children in America live apart from their biological father.
Just like many other scenarios within the African-American community, I grew up in a single-parent home with my two siblings. Our mother Juanita, was our sole provider and helped mold me into the woman I am today. Growing up without a father was devastating and definitely heartbreaking.
After all, I was daddy’s little girl. My father was supposed to be the first man to love me unconditionally. Yet, he was the first man to break my heart. I remember being so sad all the time. I wanted my FATHER to be present in life. I wanted to be surrounded by the love of both of my parents. I wanted my dad to protect me when I was sexually molested by a family member. I wanted him to just care about me. I wanted him to be there to hug me when things got tough in my life.
But, that is not what transpired. Instead, I had to dream about him. To dream about what his laugh sounded like. To dream about what his hugs felt like. To dream about how times in a day he would say, “I love you.” To dream about the lessons he would have taught me.
When my parents divorced, I still remember being asked by the court official who I wanted to live with.
Can you imagine having to decide which parent you wanted to live with for the rest of your life at five years old?
All I knew that day is that I didn’t want to be separated from my siblings.
But, I had to decide the path my life would take.
I choose my MAMA.
I’m glad she taught me how to FORGIVE
As she dried my eyes time after time
But, she never spoke any ill words to my siblings and I about our FATHER
Since she already knew that the truth would set us free (John 8:32)
My mother has always been there for me,
And helps me when I need it most.
My Father wasn’t there when I needed him most,
Not even a little bit.
To the child who is currently growing up without a father figure,
You’re not alone. You will personally come to peace with your own situation and learned some valuable things from it. Your journey to forgive the parent who abandoned you will be difficult and hard. Believe me, I watched my FATHER for years be the DAD, I wanted to non-biological children for years. Yet, Jesus has wiped away every tear from my eyes, there is no more mourning, nor crying, nor pain, for the former things, have passed away (Revelation 21:4).”
“Someday, Jesus will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers (Malachi 4:6).”
A girl in the same boat
Please Check Out the Series Daddy Issues & Collaboration by VISITING Openlybroken2015.blogspot.com